Thursday, August 25, 2011

Blind

I am not, nor have I ever been a religious person.  I do believe in some semblance of order in this life.   There is too much symmetry, too many infinite patterns, too much perfection, for me to believe any differently.

I cringe at phrases such as " all things happen for a reason", in part because I feel it is a copout, in part because I believe it is true, and in part, because I know it isn't, but desperately want it to be, need it to be.

What good can possibly come from anyone with cancer, a child who never makes it through childhood, or is robbed of it,made to grow older than possible in a short life.  Or one who is fated never to make it even to birth.  How can we hide behind a mysterious "reason" for any of that?  How can we justify the worst things that can happen with an assumption that there is some entity, some power choosing this?  Some order we know nothing of but must accept as fate?  Is there a lesson in all things tragic?  Are we supposed to find a glimmer of hope and happiness in all things that devastate us?

Maybe we are.  Perhaps it is our responsibility, to our own selves, to find that reason in every instance of sadness.  To create a place where we are safe, even if we can not see, or feel it.  That reason, behind all things, being something we create ourselves.  Is this what I am to teach my children, to find the good in all bad, the wonder in all things sad, the beauty, in all things that make us cringe with discomfort, and to use their own minds to create happiness, and contentment?




I don't know.  I haven't a clue, except, perhaps..., well, yes, I think it just may be.  

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